#1

Mariah Carey

She’s having a what! A kid you say? Damn… I’m definitely gonna post something up on the internets after I’m done writing this. I mean have you seen her new curvy figure. Coincidence? I think not!

#2

Justin Bieber

Are you a Belieber? No… Well it doesn’t really matter cause you’re in the minority. That’s democracy. He had his hat stolen recently though so it’s not all plain sailing…

#3

Lady Gaga

If your not a Belieber then you must be a Little Monster… It stands to reason. You better choose your allegiance soon… Me I’m with Gaga, she’s more influential.

#4

Billy Joel

What the! Billy Joel… What’s HE doing here? As unlikely as it seems it’s probably down to this commercial for John Lewis featuring a cover version of Joel’s She’s Always a Women

#5

Demi Lovato

Probably the most surprising thing about this Disney product is her top 3 favourite bands. Abigail Williams, Job for a Cowboy and Maylene and the Sons of Disaster. Take THAT Disney.

#6

Soulja Boy

To be honest if you can’t do the Soulja Boy Crank Dat dance then you can’t be worth knowing… It’s on a par with not knowing about the Stanky Leg dance.

#7

Bullet for My Valentine

What is it with Wales. Lost Prophets, Funeral for a Friend and these guys… Something must be in the water over there because the U.S market has been lapping it up.

#8

Ke$ha

Have you ever brushed your teeth with a bottle of Jack (Daniels I presume?)… Thought not. Check this apperance on Saturday Night Live

#9

Eminem

Angry middle class kids rejoyce your saviour is back! And he’s admitted that his last album was “ehh” Man I’m so out of touch is that bad or good?

#10

Akon

Wait a minute… Akon was No. 10 in our “Friendly” Chart last week. And now he’s No. 10… I smell a conspiracy, or could that just be my Konvict aftershave?